Loving the Unwanted

I started this blog in honor of my job. "Loving the Unwanted" is simply my job. I work for a non-profit organization that empowers people with disabilities to achieve their highest level of independence. This organization has hundreds of facilities many for people age 20 and older. But I work for the one and only children's home. These children range from ages 8 to 18 all with a mental disability and a behavior problem. My facility is a residential and is also a locked-down facility.

Now people who don't really understand why I titled my blog "Loving the Unwanted" with what I just wrote about, let me explain why today was a day of loving the unwanted. Like I said all these children have behavior problems that are alongside a mental disability.

Today, I walked in to work and the children greeted me with hugs and screaming my name as this happens every time I walk in. My shift starts at 3pm, at 3:30 one of the children comes in from their daily walk. On this day that child decided to walk to the store and buy a pop. Pop for our children is against the rules because of health issues. My boss processed to tell this child that they will have to throw the pop away because it is not allowed here. This child then hits my boss in the face twice and then is put in a hold. NO one be worried, getting hit in the face or hit in general is an everyday occurrence and we are allowed my the state to put children in holds under certain rules. Anyways, this child calms down and for an hour is perfectly fine, until that child goes into their room. This child somehow breaks off their door hinge which is a long metal bar and throws it at a staff. Needless to say, it stabs the staff in the back of the head, leaving a deep hole in the staff's head. I run to the staff pick him up and carry him to the office where my boss ran to take him to the ER. By the end of the day the child was put in a total of 5 holds injuring only one person.

The night does not stop there...out of 18 children 10 were put in holds or had physical aggression. Staff where bitten, punched, cussed at, kicked, spit at, and slapped but that is an everyday thing. Getting hit with a metal bar is not and going to the ER is not.

What a night! Yet I still love my job and love these children. I think you now have an idea why my blog is titled "Loving the Unwanted"

Love,

C

Late Night Drives, All Alone in My Car

...Sometimes...

...Its hard to love

...Its hard to forgive

...Its hard to move on

...Its hard to get over someone

...Its hard to stop loving someone out of sin and to love them the right way

...Its hard to be away

...Its hard not to run away

...Its hard to fight

...Its hard not give in

...Its hard to know right from wrong

...Its hard being single

...Its hard showing grace

...Its hard not to hate

...Its hard to trust

...Its hard being a friend

...Its hard to live

...Its hard to not believe lies

...Its hard to know when to let go

...Its hard to love someone by letting them walk out of your life

...Its hard to not have control

...Its hard to be alone

...Its hard to have feelings and not get them back

...Its hard to sleep…always

IT IS HARD……………..

Broken but Found

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, Where you been?
He said, Ask anything.

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who’s ever known
Who I am
Who I’m not, and who I want to be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

Early morning
The city breaks
I’ve been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you, where were you?

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me

Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?